today i live as if i were dying

by christinady

I’ve been injured for two months now, and it’s been quite depressing. A strained left elbow/tricep/shoulder means almost zero pole dancing, lots of trips to doctors and trainers for rehab, and just generally feeling useless.

But all that grumbling has gotten a bit tiring, so I gave myself a deadline. I could be depressed until Nov. 30– until then and no more.

So everyday since nov 30, I force myself to do something new. I went to the new night food market, I went to new ukay ukay. I’d ride the train and get off random places and walk around. I’d eat at new places. Will go watch a play tomorrow, an orchestra on saturday, and a ballet on sunday.

And just to push it a bit more, everyday I imagine I’m dying. That forces me to make time for important things, like family and friends. And to not bother with the less important stuff like petty resentments.

I made a list of things to do before I die– but since I’m already dying, I do something on that list every day.

I’m kinder when I think I’m dying. The world seems kinder, too. Go, try it.

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